Being a new mom is hard. It doesn’t matter how prepared you thought you might be or how ill suited you think you are for the job. When it comes down to it, it is something you have never done before, doesn’t matter if you babysat or not. This kid is with you at all times and you are responsible for his or her well-being. Which is the scariest thought on the face of this earth. I cried for three days when my own mother pointed out to me that “no I can’t just run out to Starbucks for five minutes. Baby, diaper bag and stroller come with.” I could no longer just run to the mall for a little bit. Is the baby fed and dressed? No? Still napping? Well then you must wait until the baby is up and fed before heading to the mall. And at that point, why bother. It is online shopping only for you now. It’s a whole new learning experience, for everyone involved. Along the way I realized that while I was busy with this baby, the first year of motherhood is like freshmen year of high school and you and your mom friends are just like the cliques in high school. And just like high school, we may have graduated but we never really left and within each mommy clique there are a few discerning personalities.
In my many days hanging around the playground I have seen a quite a few mom types, and spoken to a bunch of nannies, its mostly me and the nannies during the week day, but they are cool and have lots of awesome baby swag. They tell me where their mom-boss buys the cool must have item and usually are willing to share the secret locations of where they get the cool baby clothes at sample sales. The way you dress your child obviously shows how much you care about them. I must not care very much about my kid because he wears two-dollar shirts and hats I found in a bin marked 97 cents. I hope one day he can forgive me. The nanny type is important because after all they are your child’s primary caregivers during the day and you rely on them to love and cherish your child as if it were you taking care of them. You’re a working mom and I have a lot of respect for you because it is certainly not easy to be up at night with a crying snotty baby only to splash some cold water on your face, pile on the makeup and chug a gallon of black coffee before heading off to work. At least I can stay in my sweatpants all day and not deal with anyone if I so choose. Nanny-moms also tell me the dirty secrets of their mom-bosses. I love it, I really do, but don’t worry, mums the word and I am not a nanny ratter. I will tell you though if your nanny is neglecting or beating your kid because I would want to know that. The nannies have their whole crew and they do fun things like have picnics on blankets and eat ice cream cones together. Oh yea, the nannies totally feed your kids junk, that box of organic whole grain healthy wheat germ, brain and eye food that you loving paid 76 dollars for? It is sitting in the bottom of the stroller amidst the Frito lay wrappers and fruit punch pouches.
Often times I get asked, “So when will you be going back to work?” I usually say, “Oh you know we just moved, I’m thinking about starting my own business, I took the year off and I want to explore my options.” I like to call this persona the “accidental noncommittal stay at home mom.” You fit into this category if you find yourself saying how could I give up the career I worked so hard at? The student loans? My passion and my energy and most of all my love for my job?? Its part of which I am!! But it’s a year later and your are still here with your kid. So maybe eventually ill admit that “yep, I stay home with my kid, that’s my new job and im DAMN proud of it!” I am not a brain surgeon, I don’t save lives. My fast track career as a pastry chef can be put on a hold for a few years. lunch dates with my new mom friends, scouting out antique markets for cool vintage housewares and target are way more appealing right now. Its funny though, because had you asked me five years ago if I would be happy spending my days at the park and scouting out the new awesome trendy baby toy I would have laughed in your face. I would have said “ I am so not the type, I will probably stay home for a while and then of course go back to work.” I also never saw myself being a nursing mom but hell froze over and I did it for ten months. Crazier things have happened but I’m still not commiting to or admitting that I am in fact a stay at home mom.
We all know an alpha power boss mom. She is the mom that scheduled and timed her pregnancy to fit into her current existing life and of course pregnancy was a breeze, she was one with her womb. What morning sickness? Please, she has been in way harsher work situations and pulled some pretty brutal corporate merger all-nighters to let a little morning sickness or in my case all day sickness keep her at bay. She is the mom who has her kid on a schedule from the day they came home from the hospital. This baby eats, sleeps and poops in a very timely orderly fashion. You always know what to expect and of course this baby doesn’t cry. This baby already knows baby sign language and can communicate with her mother at 3 days old. Alpha Power boss mom does all the research on all the safety codes and best for your baby items. Her child is her new career and the babies agenda is her sole focus . Alpha power boss mom comes in handy because you know that you can rely on her to organize the baby genius class, and arrange for fun but educational activities for you and your baby to do together. Because didn’t you know that at three months old if your baby doesn’t recognize the sounds of Mozart and other classical tunes she is doomed in pre-school. I’m the mom who used her bouncy seat as musical stimulation and for it’s colorful art imagery. Thank you fisher price, I do enjoy watching re runs of Gilmore girls while my baby snoozes nicely in his vibrating, twinkly lights, and crinkly noise chair. So her coordinating a class that I pay 40 bucks for, perfect. No effort needed and I am helping my child be a pre school genius. Ill sleep better tonight. I know I will.
Then there is the mom I like to call the “underwater mother.” She is just so unprepared for the daily battle of babyhood. She misjudges the amounts of diapers you really do need, wipe container is left open so the wipes are all dry and what do you know the baby has taken a huge ass shit and its leaking out the sides and she has no outfit change. But lucky her, she has you as one of her new mom friends and you swoop in there, ever the super mom-scout that you are and you pass her a clean diaper, moist wet wipes and a spare onesie. If you offered to breastfeed her baby for her she would probably take you up on that too, but she actually can do just fine at that. It’s the other everyday details that she is fuzzy with. This mom is out of her league but she laughs about it and she knows she has her gaggle of girl friends to help her out. She is also blessed with an easygoing child and this baby is more than happy to sit in a shit filled diaper cooing and clucking in the sandbox, oblivious to his mother’s sheer cluelessness. This mom never remembers her child’s doctor appointments but the office , knowing her type ,is kind enough to call her the day of and remind her of the appointment, “Mrs. so and so don’t forget about little so and so’s appointment!! She hightails it out of the mall and rushes her child over. She does in fact know how to properly put her child in the car seat because that was something her husband made her do 187 times before she was allowed to drive around with the baby. She is not incompentent, just a little spacey. A little. A tiny little bit. Her clothing is usually crusted with some dried baby food, maybe it was from today or maybe it was from yesterday, she cant remember. Her hair has some stray puff crumbs but she is smiley and jovial. You can’t help but befriend her and just want to take her under your nice and cozy mommy wing.
So gather all your mommy types for a little mommy and baby mealtime. The host can make a big batch of this soup and with it serve a large garden salad and some crusty bread. The perfect way to spend a late afternoon.
Zucchini Basil Soup
· Adapted from I cant remember which issue of gourmet magazine
Ingredients:
Two pounds zucchini, washed and roughly chopped
1 large sweet onion, roughly chopped
2 cloves garlic, minced
½ cup packed fresh basil leaves
Salt and pepper to taste
Method:
In a 6-quart pot, add olive oil to coat to bottom in a thin layer.
Sautee the onions and garlic together until soft and translucent, about 5 minutes.
Add in the zucchini and cook until the zucchini releases some of its liquid and begins to soften, Season with some salt and pepper.
Add water to cover the vegetables just barely and bring to a boil. When the pot boils, lower the flame to a simmer and simmer for 20 minutes.
When the soup is ready, take out two cups of liquid, add in the fresh basil leaves and blend with your handy dandy immersion blender. I always like to take out liquid because I can thin out a soup but I can’t always make it thicker if it’s too thin. Slowly add back some of the liquid as you blend if the soup seems too thick. I prefer my soups to really cling to a spoon. Season the soup with more salt and pepper to taste.
The soup is best served hot but my husband has been known to eat this soup cold straight from the fridge and I have even fed it like that to the baby. Perfect pureed baby food!
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