I laugh about this now, but then...not so much

Just another Weekday. I’m all packed and ready to leave the house. Diaper bag in tow, check. Swim bag in tow, check. Baby in tow, double check. Heading out the door without my keys, slam the door and then I checked. Check. CHECK. OH GOD CHECK! Nope, no keys. Did I mention that the door is locked from the inside? That I need a key to get to my garage? I had my car keys but no door key. Did I also forget to mention that I am WEARING A BATHING SUIT AND ITS 20 DEGREES OUT?? My kid jumps out of my arms and is busy barking at the dog next door so he is occupied while I dump my bag out in search of the keys that I know are in the red ceramic bowl on the table inside, a mere two feet away from me. I briefly think about breaking the door down but I’m no super hero (secretly yes I am) and I don’t have a battering ram. I wish I did have a battering ram because the Chicago wind is ripping through my measly fleece and I am kind of shivery with only a bathing suit on underneath. We were going to baby swim class if you haven’t figured that out yet. I hate baby swim class but I figure it’s a life lesson for my child. Just like he drinks his wholesome (organic) milk delivered by the milkman so to he should learn to swim at 15 months old, best start in life for him, only the best. I swear, some days I feel like I am on crack when I make certain decisions. Where the hell is my sane conscious when I need her!!! Why else would I be wearing a swimsuit in December? But I paid for that class and I am committed for two months. Only then am I allowed to drop out and not have to pay. I think this is worse than joining a gym. I am trapped in baby swim class hell. Friends, don’t listen to me when I go on about the virtues of swim class, I am lying through my teeth because I cant admit that it is the worse thing ever and the smell of chlorine used to make my heart sing but all I want to do is curl up in a hole and lay there from 9:30 to 10 on that certain weekday morning.

So as my kid is barking at the neighbors dog and eating some mud, I grab my cell phone and call my landlord because maybe she is nearby and can quickly hop skip on over here and let me into the house before I resort to building a battering ram for myself here. Or I could throw a brick through the sliding door but that would be a little hard to explain to both my husband and the landlord. And I don’t want to be cleaning glass up. I have that fun experience from when I broke 5 glass bowls all at once. And that really is not fun. Then genius strikes me. After all you see this all the time on TV. Call the fire department! Yes!!! The firemen will save me and they will be quick and efficient and my kid loves trucks. Why not let him climb and explore a real one? I don’t even want to think about the mud under his fingernails and the leaves trailing out of his mouth. So I dial 911 with a little bit of fear and trepidation. After all dialing 911 is a very serious matter and is not something one can just do on a whim. But being locked out of your house with an unreachable husband or landlord and with a baby who keeps ripping off his hat and is soaking wet by now because he has taken a drink from the neighbors bird fountain and is about to climb in there too before I grab and tell him we need to wait on the corner for the big vroom vrooms to come!!! When the operator picks up, she answers me very calmly and tells me not to worry, this happens often and the firemen will be right there to help me. It felt like forever, I have icicles on my eyebrows but sure enough that fire truck comes ripping around the corner and out jump 3 burly men with tools and my battering ram. They are like ninjas. They scale the house and go flick flick switch…no that didn’t happen. They managed to get me in without breaking anything and I can’t tell you how because I would not want anyone to know how they did. Trade secret. And I would like to keep my TV please. And my kitchen aid mixer. Clearly my high priced valuables and prized possessions. I thank the men and they leave. I swear I will never leave my keys again but I know myself, it may just happen again. Your local fire department is surely reliable no need to leave a key by a friend or a neighbor. At least next time rest assured I wont be wearing a bathing suit.

Nothing warms you up on a cold brisk day than the thought of a meltingly soft brisket warming up in your oven. While I was living in Boston my friend Stefanie made this brisket and she happily shared with me her recipe. I just couldn’t get enough! I think those of us at that meal ate that platter clean and we would have even licked the baking dish!

Here is my version of this amazing dish, great to serve for company and babies love it too.

Hearty Beef Brisket

Ingredients:

· One 4 pound beef brisket

· Extra virgin olive oil

· 4 cloves garlic minced

· 5 medium yellow onions, sliced

· 21 oz. apple juice

· 6 tbsp. tomato paste

· 6 tbsp. dark brown sugar

· 5 tbsp. boiling water

· 4 tsp. soy sauce

· 5 big carrots, peeled and cut into chunks

· 3 medium parsnips, peeled and cut into chunks

· ¼ lb. dried prunes

· ¼ lb. dried apricots

· Kosher salt and pepper

· Pinch of ginger

Method:

· Preheat oven to 500

· Place sliced onions and garlic in the roasting pan; make sure the pan is big enough to fit the meat and the vegetables. Toss with some olive oil, just enough to coat the onions.

· Rinse beef brisket under cold running water and pat dry, place into the pan with the onions and garlic. Sprinkle the top with kosher salt and black pepper. Cover with heavy-duty foil and bake for 30 minutes.

· In a bowl combine the tomato paste, brown sugar, soy sauce, pinch of ginger and boiling water. Mix to form a paste.

· Reduce the oven temp to 325 after 30 minutes of baking time.

· Remove the brisket from the oven, uncover it and spoon the mixture over the beef.

· Place the carrots, parsnips and dried fruit all around the sides.

· Pour the apple juice in the pan and recover the brisket. Place in oven and bake for another 2 to 3 hours until fork tender. A fork inserted into the brisket should meet no resistance and look like its about to fall apart.

· Allow the brisket to cool and refrigerate overnight in order to slice.

· When cold, slice the brisket against the grain, and reheat in the sauce.

· Serve with the carrots and onions, dried fruit is optional

· Best made a day or two in advanced because it only gets better over time.

· Brisket can be wrapped and frozen as well, just make sure you freeze with plenty of the liquid.